God's timing is perfect. It is. I went to spend time with Him this morning. But when it was time to put my Bible away and go to class, I didn't want to. I felt like God was just about to tell me something. I felt like He was right there with me. I didn't wanna leave his presence. But I had to. I walked over to my 8:30 class... Sat down... In walked someone saying "your professor isn't here today. No class".... It was like He whispered: " You have another hour. You get another hour. You know what to do with it." I knew. I knew how I would spend this time. So I walked into my room. Played worship music. Laid down on top of the covers on my bed. Before I did anything, I put my head down for a few seconds to rest. There it was. The familiar fragrance of my mom. The blanket on my bed is from home and smells like my mom. I realized something. "wow. I KNOW my mom." I really know her.
I know her personality
I know the way she walks
I know which clothes belong to her at home.
I know the sound even her car keys make.
I can immediately know if she walks in a room, even if my back is turned.
I know her voice.
I don't know everything about my mom. Not everything. But it doesn't matter. Because I know HER. I may not know her thoughts, feelings, or reasons for doing everything. But it's ok because I know her. I know what she's like. I know her character.
I can tell people all day long about my mom. They may know a lot about her, but they won't know her like I do. Even my sister. She knows my mom. She knows everything that I just listed. But their relationship isn't exactly the same. Other people can understand the relationship we have and maybe learn from it, but their relationship with her will never be exactly like my relationship with her. They can love her similarly, but they can't love her exactly the same.
Quiet time earlier was about knowing God. I wanted to know God. But I still thought I can't. Deep down, I was thinking that I can't know God. Because I'm sinful. And he's holy. And he's a mystery.
I said "God, I don't get it. But I want to" and walked away with that.
He knew that He needed to put me in my room instead of the study room. He knew that if class was cancelled I would lay in my bed. He knew I would smell the blanket and immediately think "mom". He knew.
Because God knows me, I can know Him.
I can know his character.
I can know his personality.
I can know what words belong to Him.
I can know what He sounds like.
I can know His voice.
I don't know everything about God. Not everything. I don't understand all the things He does. But that's ok. I know HIM. I know what He's like. I can trust his actions, because I know Him.
I can tell people about Him all day long. People can tell me about their relationship with Him all the time. But no one's relationship with Him is exactly the same. Maybe I can understand His relationship with others and possibly learn from them because mine is similar, but no one can know Him EXACTLY like I know Him. No one can love Him exactly like I love Him. I can't love Him the way anyone else loves Him. And if all the mentors that are currently pouring into my life didn't exist, I could still know and love and talk to God. Simply because He knows and loves and talks to me. He KNOWS me. The King of kings knows me.
I wanna know you. Thank You that I can. Thank You that You reminded me how well I know my mom and how that relates to how I can know You. I can know what You sound like. I can know what You act like. I can know. I don't need anyone else to show me You. I just need You to show me. If no one else even existed, I could still know You. God, help me to learn You. Learn Your character. That way, I can go day to day without needing to know Your every reason behind everything. I can trust You because I know Your character. Because I know YOU. Thank You that You are incredibly holy yet incredibly accessible. Please keep showing Yourself to me. I wanna KNOW you.
In Jesus' name