I love my Jesus. Really.
And I now wonder how many lessons or reminders he can show me through one object.
Apparently, a lot.
If you don't know, I wear a nail ring on my wedding ring finger. ( though, you probably knew. Because I write about it all the time...) Anyway, I've worn a nail ring every day since Ecuador, almost 2 years ago. The whole idea behind it was that since I am the bride of Christ nothing else matters. God used that ring SO many times to remind me of His deep love for me. There have been days in my time with him where I literally just held the ring in my hand and stared at it, until I believed again I was loved. The ring...my most favorite possession.
Flash forward to Baja.
I pray over a really good friend of mine, and when we are done praying I get up to walk away.
Enter, Holy Spirit's voice: " Give her your ring. As a reminder of My love."
I give it to her, without thinking. I'm glad she has it.
But then later I remember that I don't have it. And I miss my ring. It was dumb. But I wanted that physical reminder of God's love back on my hand.
The next day, we were at the house we were building. There were plenty of extra nails on the ground. I thought I'd just take one or two and make my own ring back at home.
But I didn't even have to.
Later, I was washing dishes for the family and l then I see my sister and two of my other teammates bending nails. I don't completely know the reason. I had told the boys about my idea and I think they were trying to prove to me it wasn't possible.... But then- then the dad of the family saw them. I guess they explained what they were doing. Before I knew it he had a pair of pliers, and a nail. I watched as he fought to get that nail into a circle shape. It in fact looked impossible. I began to think I wasn't going to make my own nail ring after all. Well... he did it. I saw the once straight nail bent into a ring shape. The man handed it to me, and you would know... It fit perfectly on my left ring finger.....
I don't remember what went through my head. Except later, after having time to think, all I could think about was God's faithfulness. He knew.
You probably think that's the end of the story. I got a perfect new ring that showed God's faithfulness in my obedience.
No. It brings me to today's lesson.
See, this ring is actually made from a nail. The other one just LOOKED like a nail. This one is a real, rough nail, that will probably rust eventually.
I sat in my house today and was rolling the ring around in my hands. Fidgeting. I began to think
"this is cool. Such a cool story. God really is faithful to me. He knew I'd give my ring away, fight my flesh wanting it back, then get a new one with even deeper meaning since it was from the house I helped to build. Cool..."
"what do nails do? Nails hold things together.... Wait. Nails hold things together. God has promised He'll hold me together."
As I looked at the nail, God showed me a whole new meaning.
"Taylor, I hold you together. Always. In everything. I hold you together. I hold your family together. I hold your life together.
When you are tired
When you're stressed
When you're busy
When two days after a hard but lovely mission trip, your grandfather dies and your whole family comes to live in your house and you have to sleep on the couch and a 3 year old wakes you up crying every night and your family members argue over who gets what and people ask if you're ok and you really are ok because you didn't really know him and you've decided you'd be the one to comfort your family and you bounce from place to place to place all week and there's still 9 other people in your house and you run out of towels for people to use after showers and you have also run out of detergent to wash the towels and you literally can't escape people for 5 minutes to yourself to talk to Me and you miss Me and you miss your best friends whom you haven't seen in a while and you are afraid of what's next and you dread moving back 3 hours away from everything you are comfortable with and you feel left out and abandoned and weak and frustrated and forgotten and you are so tired that your brain seems to have nothing inside except fuzzy white noise or a flatline pulse sound and you have absolutely no idea what I'm doing in your life,
I always have. I Am faithful. I haven't let you go. I see you and I see your family. I know what I'm doing. I love you. I'm faithful to complete the work I started. You won't always understand or know what I'm doing in your life. But I have a plan. It's real and it's good. Trust me, my child. I am here. I'm so close. I'm so close. Just whisper my name. I. Am. With. You. Have I ever proven Myself unfaithful? Have I ever broken a single promise? "
God, I believe you. Help my unbelief.