Friday, November 23, 2012

Love Letter

Jesus, I was screaming at you. Angry. I was like the girl in all the movies beating against her husband's or her boyfriend's chest in her anger and tears, while he just stands there. I was fighting you. So hurt and so broken that I only knew to fight. I screamed "I don't believe you! I don't believe your promises are for me. I don't believe your grace is for me. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you." I cried out to you "WHERE ARE YOU?!" I felt like you were light years away and I was terrified you had let me go. I was angry that I didn't hear you. Angry at myself for not knowing you and angry at you for not speaking to me.Angry for not you letting me feel anything. Angry for whatever else. I was also numb. I thought you had permanently let me go and I wondered if I would ever believe you again.
Then you answered me with this. I had written this years ago, and you knew. You knew part of it would somehow be seen by one of my dear sisters today, who would then quote the first part and ask where the rest was.
But-I hadn't read the words until now.
You. win.

My Sweet Princess,
First I want you to know how valued you are. I created you, I saved you, and I made you new. You mean the world to me. You are my beautiful daughter whom I love dearly. I created the entire universe, yet I knew you even when you were being formed. Before a single one of your days came to be, I knew them all. They were all written in my book-part of my wonderful plan. I know everything about you. I hear your thoughts and see your actions. I know your heartaches and your hurts. But even more than that, I actually feel them! In a special bottle I am storing your each and every tear. As much as I hate to see your pain, as much as it grieves me to see you struggle, all this must be, in order for you to totally and completely come to the end of your own understanding; only then can you fully hear my voice.  Amidst the noise of the world, I'm calling.  My voice is in the midst of your worst fears tenderly beseeching you to trust me in the pain of your grief.  If you hold real still, you can feel my arms encircling you and hear my soothing words of comfort.  Yes, that still, small voice within you is mine.  Yes, that gentle touch is me.  Give me your pain- yes, all of it, and I will give you my peace.  Give me your sorrow and I will give you joy unspeakable.  I cherish you, daughter. I have made a promise to you that I’m holding you in my hand. Absolutely nothing can snatch you away-nothing! You. Are. Mine!  Forever. I am with you always, even to the end of the age. That means I’m here in the good times, the bad times, and the blah times. I not only am with you though, I’m also already on the other side, waiting. Waiting for you to reach that point and look back with me, noticing every single season I’ve brought you through. Oh yeah, I’m in your past too. I don’t care what you’ve done or where you’ve been. I love you anyway!
Let me mend your breaking heart. I will wipe away your tears and there will be no more crying or pain anymore. I am the Healer. I am the Prince of Peace, the Comforter. I am all you need. Take a second and just get lost in me and my Word. Before you get back up and move on, know it’s ok to fall. It’s o.k. to just be…human.
Daughter, every situation is in your life for a reason. They each make you stronger in some way.  I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for your good, to give you hope. Not everything will always make sense for now, but it is truly all in my plan. Never forget that I came to give you life more abundantly. That does not mean life more easy. It means you’re life will be richer, sweeter, better-even in the really hard times. My enemy will come and lie to you and try to convince you that you are unseen and unknown by Me. Don’t believe him for a second. He simply wants to steal every good thing I have given you. Hold on to everything I have told you. You were made for more.  Come back to me, and let me be your Love.

With my everything,
The King of Kings

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